Wisconsin’s Weirdest Monster Is NOT Alone!
What follows are excerpts from the Goatman: Flesh or Folklore? unfinished manuscript introduction. Entire paragraphs are missing, as this is merely a sample. More sneak peaks will follow in the coming weeks. This is a full length history and investigation of the Goatman phenomenon. Roughly 20,000 words are written so far.- J. Nathan Couch
It’s said that all across the United States, a monster lurks in the darkness. But unlike the fearsome beasts of long ago, it doesn’t prowl near a secluded crossroads nor does it lurk in the vast wilderness that once shrouded America’s landscape. This monster lurks on the boundaries of suburban America. It lives under our bridges, along our highways, in our parks, and in abandoned buildings mere miles from our schools—from our homes.
Huge, malodorous, and homicidal, it has many names. In Kentucky they call it the Pope Lick Monster. In Texas it’s known as the Lake Worth Monster or Old Foamy. West Virginians calls it the Sheepsquatch, meanwhile over in Pennsylvania it’s been dubbed the Sheepman. In spite of a plethora of local monikers, most people refer to the creature by a common name—Goatman.
Some descriptions say the Goatman is a hairy humanoid with a goat-like head that walks about on either two or four legs depending on the circumstances. Others say he’s a horned man with a furry, hooved lower-half much like the Satyrs and Fauns of Greek and Roman mythology. Most witnesses who have claimed to see this bizarre amalgamation describe it as some sort of hirsute Wildman similar to the Pacific Northwest’s iconic Bigfoot. To add to the horror—but subtract from the plausibility—this bizarre amalgamation is said to have various supernatural abilities and occasionally brandishes an ax at those unfortunate enough to encounter it.
Goatman is surrounded by so much urban legend that nary a researcher would champion his existence if it wasn’t for the fact that so many people have claimed to see him. While descriptions disagree on the size and color of the animal most share a common link. The majority of sightings don’t describe a half-man, half-goat, but a hairy hominid not unlike Bigfoot. Because of this, almost everyone who has seriously researched Goatman has declared that it’s actually a Bigfoot or Bigfoot-like creature that had the misfortune of being spotted in an area where a Goatman urban legend exists. I think this line of thinking says a lot about the strangeness of Goatman. It’s far easier to believe the creature is another animal—one which hasn’t even been proven to exist I must add—than it is to trust that a half-man, half goat is skulking around the boundaries of suburban America. But to say Goatman is a sasquatch or a North American Ape is not an adequate answer. One simply can’t explain away a mystery with another, slightly more plausible mystery.
To say that the existence of Satyrs is absurd is almost an understatement. Yet, there is a record of sightings that can—but shouldn’t be—ignored. The bravery these witnesses display in coming forward should at least earn them an unbiased retelling. One could blame these sightings on overactive imaginations or pranks. It’s certainly possible, but this is equally as difficult to prove.
But despite my attempt to treat the topic with seriousness and dignity I’m fully aware asking someone to believe in something so fantastic is a monumental request. That’s why I’d like to stress I make no such appeal. I merely ask that you keep an open mind, and decide for yourself if you believe the Goatman is flesh or folklore.
Goatman: Flesh or Folklore Available October 2014!
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